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xoxonoddyxoxo
i have to go to perth i really dont wanna see my boyfriend i love him tho he gets alittle to much for me and something is telling me im not his onli girlfriend... its my mums birthday today witch is good coz she isnt that grumpy witch means im not going to get it today my brother is getting more annoying i wish he would just go back to perth i havent been taking my depression pills i dont want to;.... they make me feell i\like im a nut case and they make me feel worst they make me wanna cut and die my death thoughts have gone down alittle tho when i get really upset and i breake they all come rolling back in when willl they leave me alone

my cousin is still trying to be with me what do i do he my cousin nothing more tho he looks at me as being more then a cousin ...
im worried im falling. im worried that im never going to get out of this that im always going to have this problem i just wish my mum never fucked up my life


COMMENT TO A POST TODAY: REPLY COMMENT ( IF ANYONE WANTS TO KNOW WHY I DO THIS ITS BECAUSE HAVING DEPRESSION HAS MADE ME BECOME A CONTROL FREAK I HAVE TO HAVE EVERYTHING IN ORDER OR I HAVE TO HAVE EVERYTHING THERE SO I CAN READ BACK.PLEASE UNDERSTAND. )


ive had over 4 step dads my real dad got rid  of me out me and my mum on the streets ny last step dad neally killed my little sister she got  shaken baby sydome mum and me always got abused he tryed sleeping with me but my pop alwas protected now my pop gone and i have no one to protect me i miss him and all i want is him back and i know he not coming back i cant live without him ive tryed to talk to my dad but im nothing to him i just want to met him i just want him to see how much i have grown up... .

comment for today ... and a comment to a add
xoxonoddyxoxo

what do i do

ive been haveing wierd dreams like my mum killing my sister ver and over again with razor blades im scared to shut my eyes... my energy has gone down so fast what do i do ive been taking laxitives i know i shouldnt be tho imy fear of becoming fat is getting worst i try and tell myself not to but there is a part of me telling me to.... how ndo i stop this i dont want this anymore i dont want t live this life... im trying to stay away from cutting tho it seemed to help me tho my mum knows about it and she will just abuse me like she always does
ever since pop diesd ive been down i have nobody that truly understands me my step dad trying to adopt me and its all to much for me working full time is killing me im weak and i just dont have the strenght to do what i do ... someone please help me


comment to a add:
 

im just like that... everything you said explains me i think ive moved on and happi and then it hits me and i start to hurt myself... the hole boyfriend thing if he loves you he will stick by you... me and my boyfriend have problems sometimes my depression is to hard for him to cope with but he will never leave me..

it takes time im 16 and i thought i would never be like this but i guess its one of those things my mum had depression since she was a teenager she was put in a mental war for along time i never wanted to be like her tho im heading in the exact place.. just know your not the onli one i understand and im here for you anytime...

depression entry for the day
xoxonoddyxoxo
my name i tarah and im 16 i have had depression since i was 10 it most of it is because my family life wasnt that stable it still isnt me and ,mum fight like shit but i try so hard to fix things ... but it never works...
i have a problem i worryy to much about my wieght i have done so many bab things just to ceep the write wait its the only thing in my life that i can control my parents run my life tho they cant control what happens to me only i can...   .... please i just need help death thoughts for me are getting so much worst im crying every nite i just cant find one peace of happness anymore... nothing makes me happi

i dont want to take pills anymore tho there the onli things that ceep me going ..i cant cut anymore mum knows what can i do i guess my legs would be ok i always wear pants so i guess know one will no the differences or is dieing the onli wai for me ..

i need help and i want surport from people that are dealing with the same problems that i face everyday..

depression
xoxonoddyxoxo
i think im getting worst mum goes up and down all the time... happy at me then angry what am i ment to do.. i loove my boyfriend and there nothing anyone can do about that

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